BY AMBER BATEMAN

11/15/2024

We live in a culture of excess. So much information, so many opportunities, so much vying for our time and attention. There is always more to buy, more to consume, more to experience than one should reasonably do. This way of life increases stress, as we feel a constant push to always needing more. Unfortunately hustle bustle culture can be even worse during the holidays.

People have various feelings and approaches to the holidays. Some love it; some can’t wait till it’s over. Many are just trying to get through it. If you’re someone who finds holidays stressful, here is my #1 tip to reduce stress in the season.

Identify priorities and set boundaries around everything else.

That’s it. It’s as simple and challenging as that. One practical way to identify your priorities is by creating a Holiday Bucket List. Take some time to write down what you would like this holiday season to include. What is most important to you? When you imagine a meaningful holiday season, what do you see? You can find examples of seasonal bucket lists online to get inspiration. Here are some tips for really making this work and lowering your stress.

1.       Be specific—vague ideas such as “spend time with family” are not very helpful. Write down specifically what activities you would like to do and with specifically which family members. For example: “Watch a Christmas movie while eating popcorn with my nieces and nephews” or “Attend a Christmas orchestra concert either alone or with a friend.”

2.       Be reasonable— you may love the idea of your entire family of 50 people in matching red striped pajamas on a Caribbean cruise, but is it realistic? Try to set realistic expectations of small things that are meaningful and very doable.

3.       Be flexible—you may not get to everything on your list and that’s okay. If you are married, I would go over your list of holiday ideas together. Decide which activities are most important to your family. If one activity is important to one spouse and not the other, you could have a night where you both do something different. For example, one spouse and child go caroling with church group, and one spouse and child go shopping that same night. Then come home and share about the evening.

4.       Set boundaries around the things that are not priorities. If you say yes to too much, you will increase stress and not enjoy the season. Practice saying no right now. If it’s not on the priority list, think carefully about whether it’s important enough to spend time on.

5.       Choose contentment—there are endless opportunities and you cannot possibly do them all. You will miss out on some things and that is truly okay! Choose to find gratefulness and contentment in small everyday things which will free you to enjoy your actual life instead of living in a fantasy one.

6.       Stop comparing yourself to others. What is more important to you?—that everyone on social media sees how busy you are OR actually having a relaxing and meaningful holiday season? You don’t have to prove to others or yourself that you are a good parent, interesting person, etc. Just focus on being the kind of person you long to be.

7.       For those with children, your kids do not need to go to every Christmas function or receive every item on their list, nearly as much as they need you as a parent to be emotionally available and at peace.

Just to give some inspiration, here’s some priorities on my list this year:

• Explore a beach slowly with my husband and kids Thanksgiving weekend.

• Sip something hot by the tree and ponder life.

• Savor peppermint milkshakes from Chick Fil A!

Some things I plan to say no to this year:

• Black Friday shopping

• Cookie swaps

• Spending time on social media looking at how cute everyone else’s families are and being jealous

I’m not saying these things are necessarily wrong or not allowed on your list; they are just not a priority for me. I want to savor and enjoy a few things rather than hustle through many things stressfully.

So what about you? What are you looking forward to most this holiday season? What do you (or your family) need to be more refreshed and ready for a new year? What are some things you will say no to this year? If you are a follower of Jesus, what do you believe He is asking you to prioritize?

I wish you a peaceful and meaningful holiday season.