BY AMBER BATEMAN

10/30/2024

Mental health counseling (or therapy) has changed drastically over the last hundred years. What used to be thought of as only for those with extreme and debilitating issues, such as psychosis, is now largely accepted for the average person. Professional counseling can be helpful for most everyone at some point in their lives. That being said, it can be expensive and if not done well, not very helpful. I work as a professional therapist and have gone to counseling myself. Here are my 10 tips for getting the most out of therapy.

1.       Make a list of the problem areas in your life, the things you would like to change. Identify what would be different if therapy was successful. Try to focus on what you would change about yourself, and less about what you would change about others.

2.       Find a good therapist fit. Not all therapists are created equal. While licensed therapists have similar training and adhere to an ethical code, therapy is a uniquely personal experience. Every therapist is a little different because every person is a little different. Therapists have different areas of expertise and various theories and techniques they utilize. Therapists also have differing personalities and counseling styles. You should never fill obligated to continue with a therapist if you do not feel you are a good match. Much of what makes therapy successful is the therapeutic relationship: how comfortable you feel with the particular therapist’s personality, style, and skills.

3.       Choose a good time and location. You don’t need to create more stress in your life by making a counseling session during your 1 hour lunch break at a location that is 25 minutes from your office. Try to find a time (or say no to other things and create time) in which you don’t have to rush to therapy or drive so far away you dread going to it.

4.       Prepare for sessions. Think on (and possibly write down) what you want to discuss at your next session. You can make notes as you go about your week and notice things you wish to discuss. This not only makes your therapist’s job much easier, but helps you make the most of the time and money you are spending.  

5.       Do “the work” outside of session. Practice and apply the principles you are discussing in therapy in your daily life. Habits are not changed because you sat in an office for 50 minutes. We form healthy habits by practicing them. It’s okay if you “fail” or aren’t perfect at implementing the things you’ve discussed. Therapists understand change is hard. If the things you discussed aren’t working, be honest with your therapist about that and explore why.

6.       Research/read suggested reading. The clients who start reaching their goals are the ones who do their own learning outside of session. They read books, listen to podcasts, read professional articles, and watch professional YouTube channels. Ask your therapist for some recommended resources on your particular struggles. Therapy is best used as a way to process how mental health information applies to your own life. As a therapist, I don’t want to spend valuable time giving you a book report on Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend. It would be a much better use of time for you to read Boundaries on your own, and then discuss how it applies specifically to you in a therapy session.

7.       Talk with healthy people in your life about what you are learning. This helps you integrate what you are learning through therapy into your real life. Ask them to help hold you accountable and support you in your mental health journey.

8.       Join a weekly group to further support the change you desire. There are numerous free/low cost volunteer led support groups that can be so incredibly helpful. Some that my clients have loved are Re-generation (12 step discipleship program), Re-engage (marriage), GriefShare, DivorceCare, and Favor (addiction).

9.       Be open and honest with the therapist about what you are wanting from sessions. This is your session! You are paying this professional to help you reach your goals. Be kind but direct about what has been helpful or what you would like to be different. Be honest and ask for clarity if the therapist has said or done things that have confused or upset you.

10.   Commit to the process, as much as time and money allows. Talk with your therapist about how often would be ideal for you to meet. This will depend on your situation. Someone in a severe crisis may benefit from seeing a therapist twice a week, while for others once every 2 weeks is ideal. Weekly is usually standard when you are first starting out, and over time you could go down to every 2, 3, or 4+ weeks.

I know therapy can be intimating and even confusing at times, but I want it to be the best experience possible for you. I trust applying these tips will help in this endeavor.  One final thing: you don’t have to be in therapy forever. Once you have met your initial goals, take a break or reevaluate what else you need to address. Remember it’s a resource and a tool, not just something else to do on your list.

Hang in there. I’m rooting for you.